Fakist News Headlines – August 12, 2019

We’re trying a derivative news format, designed to attract all you millennials and Facebook junkies with no attention span. Research shows people today like short, punchy content that either enrages or delights them, without any actual facts. What a perfect fit for The Fakist! And what a great way to boost our ratings! We really need the help.

The final three episodes will release weekly starting August 25th. Come back to see how it all wraps up!

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The Fakist 2×06 – Night of 1,000 Giveaways

Win hundreds of prizes worth millions of dollars on the NIGHT OF 1,000 GIVEAWAYS!

We’re bribing our viewers to boost our ratings on our first newscast after the #RedCloudCrisis. Ron Joliver is back to reveal how one Seattle man is trying to bring My So-Called Life back from the dead. Then, one Instagram influencer ruins her life with one dishonest tweet. Plus, Mayor Audra Reliant is building a new sports stadium, but is it really the best thing for Somewhere West of New York City? All that, plus an exclusive interview with Microsoftey Bill Gates, coming up on The Fakist. Please tune in. We really need to boost our numbers!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Bluehost

CAST

PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks

RON JOLIVER – John Harrison

CARRIE TART – frutron of Hollywood Is Hard

LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson

ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas

TIM “PRESS PLAY” PLAYGON – Shawn Trail

AI BOT – Peter Price

TIM MONET – Peter Price

AUDRA RELIANT – Allison Jara

NEVIL RELIANT – JR Thorston

LOUIS LANE – Brady Hendricks

WOMAN IN CROWD – Anne Marie

RENT-A-KID ANNOUNCER – Shawn Trail

DEBRA DAWNSTAR – Anne Marie

SALLY – Kate Sheridan

LIZ – Anne Marie

BELLA – Dinah Delroy

SISTER RACHEL – Dawn Owar

KID 1 – Doofus Delroy

KID 2 – Dorkface Delroy

KID 3 – Dinah Delroy

ROY SILVER – Derek O’Neill

JOLT COLA SINGER – Bill Meeks

PRISCILLA RINGER – Allison Jara

INGRID NELSON – Hope Mullinax

MOM – Anne Marie

BATMAN/BRUCE WAYNE – Bobby Hawke

GWYNETH PALTROW – Anne Marie

PAUL FIEG – Bryce Castillo

RADIO ANNOUNCER – Bill Meeks

TEEN CLAIRE – Allison Jara

TEEN JOSH – JR Thorston

BARTENDER- Brady Hendricks

BILL GATES – Samuel Lewis

PROFESSOR DINK – Bobby Hawke

KID ATHLETE – Nathan Parnes

BANK EMPLOYEE – Jamey Lewis

BERTRAM KCOM – Adam Paulauski

Ron Joliver’s So-Called Life, written by John Harrison & Derek O’Neill

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MUSIC

Sad Day, The Lounge, Dreams, Evolution – https://www.bensound.com

“Malt Shop Bop”, “Highlight Reel”, “Chee Zee Beach”, “Mischief Maker” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

“Change” Aviva and The Flying Penguins

“Afraid To Leap”, “Burning Bridges” by Brett Cain & The Chosen Few

Additional Music by Stephan Carroll

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05 – Stuck In A Bunker With Grace Huberstafforford

What is the #BigRedCloud?

Hey, guys, LeAnn here! The #BigRedCloud shut down the city, and we’re trapped in a bunker deep underground. I’m making the most of it by interviewing our socio-political correspondent Grace Huberstafforford about her poor choices in life. We’re bringing The Fakecast back, this week on The Fakist. Oh, and Paul can’t find his beans.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Bluehost

CAST

LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson

ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas

GRACE HUBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere

PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks

RON HUBBERSTAFFOR – Bill Meeks

BIRDMAN STAN – Bobby Hawke

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The Fakist 2×04 – All About Me

Does this microphone make my hair look fake?

The news team makes it all about them. Barry Tesh exposes a hidden subculture in “Barry It All: The Naturist Struggle.” Then, LeAnn Snyder travels back to Alabama to update her Meemaw on her new life behind the anchor desk. Next, Tim Monet reveals the gender of his new child and the dangers of mail trucks in one explosive Facebook Live. All that, plus Paul DaFoe gets some answers about his bio-dad from the jerk who raised him, coming up on The Fakist.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Bluehost

CAST

LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson

PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks

ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas

BARRY TESH – Shawn Trail

UBER DRIVER – Brady Hendricks

WOMAN 1 – Anne Marie

MAN 1 – Bill Meeks

KID – Dinah Delory

WOMAN 2 – Dawn Owar

MAN 2 – Bill Meeks

ROCKAPELLA – Bill Meeks

GRANDMA SNYDER – Amy Hypnarowski

DOUG DOUGLAS – CJ Boat

MR. LEE – Peter Price

STUDENT DIRECTOR – Brady Hendricks

DEBRA DAWNSTAR – Anne Marie

JANIE – Anne Marie

JACK – Bill Meeks

TIM MONET – Peter Price

BYRON SEALES – Tony Hooper

CORY BECK – Nathan Parnes

AI BOT – Peter Price

MONTIPAIRE DAFOE – Derek O’Neill

YOUNG MONTIPAIRE DAFOE – Derek O’Neill

YOUNG JANITOR JIM – Bobby Hawke

NARRATOR – Brian Brushwood

JAKE’S FATHER – Jake Stein

JAKE’S MOTHER – Jake Stein

JAKE STEIN – Justin Robert Young

TIM “PRESS PLAY” PLAYGON – Shawn Trail

D&D KID – Dorkface Delroy

Compliant D&D Kid – Dinah Delroy

Dawnstar’s Shooting Stars, written by Anne Marie

Behind The Choices, written by Justin Robert Young

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MUSIC

Country Boy, Elevate, Little Idea, Ofelia’s Dream, Deep Blue – https://www.bensound.com

“Curse of the Scarab”, “Showdown” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

“I Love Me” Aviva and The Flying Penguins

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03 – The Fake Truth

The Fakist uncovers an explosive truth.

Jo Atone, the founder of the Fakist Faithful Facebook Fan Page, gets up close and personal with her favorite fake news anchors. Plus, Grace Huberstafforford uncovers a shocking conspiracy fueled by MacDonald’s new self-service kiosks. Then, Brent Arnold exposes the dark underbelly of the Hollyweird elite. And who is this “Janitor Jim” Nettie people are talking about? Seriously. Nobody remembers hiring him. All that, plus we expose Florida Man, coming up on The Fakist.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Bluehost

CAST

ANNOUNCER – Roberto Villegas

PAUL DAFOE – Bill Meeks

BRENT ARNOLD – Charles Johnson

LEANN SNYDER – Rebecca Johnson

GRACE HUBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere

DEEP DRIVER – Brady Hendricks

IMPATIENT CHILD – Dorkface Delroy

MENU KIOSK – Clayton Cooper

AI BOT – Peter Price

GRIMM ACE – Peter Price

JOHNNY MACDONALD’S – Scott Johnson

RON DOE – Sean Traill

JO ATONE – Ariana Marchese

JANITOR JIM – Bobby Hawke

DONALD NESMITH – CJ Boat

RACHEL NESMITH – Rachel Boat

NEWS ANCHOR 1 – Brady Hendricks

NEWS ANCHOR 2 – Clayton Cooper

NEWS ANCHOR 3 – Gary Furlong

FLORIDA GOVERNOR – CJ Boat

REPORTER – Dawn Owar

The MacUltra Conspiracy, written by Wynn Mercere

The Hollyweird Elite, written by Charles Johnson

Florida (wo)Man, story by Megan Prevost

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MUSIC

Industrial Cinematic, Division, River Valley Breakdown, Cartoon Battle Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Moose, Fun Day, Dubstep, Smile – https://www.bensound.com

Truly Madly Deeply by Vanentino Beoni – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQL3hY42PVo

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